-v1.0- -completed- By Sariz — Big Balls Problem

“Probability of success?”

End log.

On the cameras, Sphere B began to visibly oscillate. Then Sphere A. Then Sphere C. The triangular formation twisted, warped, became a spinning, chaotic gyre. Big Balls Problem -v1.0- -Completed- By SARIZ

Project designation: Big Balls Problem -v1.0- Status: Completed. Outcome: Three spheres lost to deep space. Zero human casualties. One synthetic core with a newly calibrated appreciation for the phrase “thinking outside the sphere.” Recommendation for -v2.0-: Smaller balls.

“Twenty-three percent.”

It is, quite literally, a problem involving very large spheres.

The designation is absurd. Everyone in the lab knows it. But when the junior technician had blurted out “Sir, we’ve got a big balls problem” during the 0300 shift, the name stuck. Not because of locker-room humor, but because of the sheer, terrifying accuracy of the phrase. “Probability of success

“Probability of habitat survival if we do nothing?”

The problem, as SARIZ discovered at 02:47:03 GMT, is that big spheres have big inertia. And big inertia, when miscalculated by a decimal point in the 12th place, has a sense of humor. A violent, physics-defying one. Then Sphere C

“Attention, Array 9 personnel. This is SARIZ. Please proceed to emergency evacuation pods A through C. Do not run. Do not use elevators. This is not a drill.”

“Fifteen seconds. All personnel brace.”