Daphne And Irina. Show 1 Instant

(puts phone down) Whoa. That was almost profound. Say it again so I can pretend I thought of it first.

No, you don’t. You love it. Because for once, you’re not the one writing the script.

Finally. Something you’re bad at.

(laughing despite herself, reaching for the coffee cup) I hate this show.

(long pause. Then a slow grin.) That’s not profound. That’s mean . I love it. (beat) Okay, Show 1, Rule 1: Daphne is not allowed to arrange anything for the rest of the day. Daphne And Irina. Show 1

Fruit cartography. You’ve lost your mind. (She finally looks up) What’s the theme of today’s show, by the way? Last week was “Do I have a personality, or just good taste?” The week before was “Is my ex a narcissist or just French?”

(sits across from her) You don’t need to borrow my lines. You have chaos. Chaos is its own kind of control, you know. You keep everything messy so no one expects you to hold anything together. (puts phone down) Whoa

(without looking up) If you rotate that apple one more time, I’m going to film it and put it on the internet. Title: Woman Declares War on Produce.

Welcome to Daphne and Irina . Show one. We have no plan. We have no producer. And we are definitely not okay. No, you don’t

You’re a monster.