"Valid. Fine print that requires a magnifying glass and a priest is unenforceable." WITNESS TESTIMONY (Optional) Witness (Karen – sister): "I still flinch at balloons. And I can't look at a red nose without crying. My therapist says I have Circus-Related Stress Disorder ."
"Noted. I'm adding $500 for the therapist's future coffee fund." VERDICT Judge Lomp: "After reviewing the evidence – including the defendant's alarming enthusiasm for clown-based warfare – I find the defendant liable ." Lomp-s Court - Case 3
Presiding Judge: Judge Lomp Bailiff: [Name, e.g., "Officer Tweedy"] Plaintiff: [Character A] Defendant: [Character B] Case Type: Small claims / Civil dispute SCENE OPENING Bailiff: "All rise! The Honorable Judge Lomp presiding. Order in the court!" "Valid
"It was in 4-point font, Your Honor. Behind a coffee stain." My therapist says I have Circus-Related Stress Disorder
(slamming gavel) "Be seated. This is Case Number 3 – the case of the Exploding Birthday Cake . I want a clean trial, no theatrics, and for the love of gavels – someone get me a coffee. Plaintiff, state your grievance." PLAINTIFF'S STATEMENT (Character A) Plaintiff: "Your Honor, I ordered a custom birthday cake from the defendant's bakery. It was supposed to say 'Happy Birthday, Karen' with sparklers. Instead, when we lit it, the cake shot confetti and a spring-loaded clown head into my sister's face. She needed therapy. I want $5,000 for emotional damages and dry cleaning."
"I put a sticker on the box that said 'May contain joy' ."