The Emo One We don’t talk about the finger-guns. We don’t talk about the jazz club strut. But we must talk about Topher Grace as Venom. This movie is a beautiful train wreck. It gave us the single greatest meme template of the 2000s. Is it bad? Yes. Is it entertaining? Like watching a live-stream of a dumpster fire. Emo Peter’s hair deserved its own spin-off.
The Art Apocalypse Wait, this isn't live action? It doesn't matter. This animated masterpiece makes the previous eight look like student films. Hundreds of Spider-people. A plot about canon events that breaks your heart. Spider-Punk. Spider-Cat. Spider-Rex. The cliffhanger ending leaves you screaming into the void. It is the best Spider-Man movie since Spider-Man 2 . Spiderman 1-10
The European Vacation Peter goes to Europe. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Mysterio, a man who uses drone illusions to fake being a hero. It’s a massive step down from Homecoming , featuring a love triangle so awkward it hurts. But the hallucination sequence where zombie Iron Man punches Peter? Genuine nightmare fuel. The Emo One We don’t talk about the finger-guns
The Lost One The only film on this list that doesn't exist yet. Delayed endlessly. Rumored to be three hours long. Will Miles save his dad? Will Gwen’s dad quit the force? Will we ever see it? The legend says that if you stand in front of a Sony Pictures building and whisper "Canon event," a producer appears and delays the release by another month. This movie is a beautiful train wreck