Troll 2 ⚡ High-Quality

Five stars. Zero quality. Infinite joy.

Watch it alone, and you’ll laugh. Watch it with friends, and you’ll create a religion. Watch it stoned at 2 AM, and you might just see the face of God (who looks suspiciously like a goblin in a rubber mask holding a corncob). troll 2

There are goblins. Vegan goblins, to be precise. And that absurd contradiction—a monster movie without its title monster, featuring villains who want to turn people into plants so they don’t have to eat meat—is the perfect gateway into the beautiful, baffling chaos that is Claudio Fragasso’s 1990 masterpiece of incompetence. Five stars

Director Claudio Fragasso (under the pseudonym "Drake Floyd") reportedly told his English-speaking cast to act "more American." The result is a cast of children, amateurs, and locals who perform every emotion—fear, joy, confusion—at the same volume: maximum overdrive . The dad, Michael, delivers lines like a man who just realized he left the oven on. The mom, Diana, looks perpetually like she’s smelling a bad egg. Watch it alone, and you’ll laugh

Have you survived the horror of Nilbog? Drop your favorite terrible movie in the comments. And remember: Don't eat the green food.